Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Novels With Nell - Quiet

Anyone feeling shocked that there were two book style posts in one week? Sometimes I think I make it sound like I never read but if you read this post then hopefully you know that is an exaggeration. Regardless I trust Nell's judgement when it comes to sharing books worth reading with y'all and am excited for her to be back today to share another one of her favorites!

I am especially excited about today's recommendation. Nell has told me about this book before as we bond over the fact that we are definitely introverted. I'm glad I'm not the only one who becomes frustrated whenever categorizes someone who is introverted as shy since it's all about how I am gaining my energy. I like people, don't get me wrong, but when it comes to recharging I need to be by myself. I can distinctly remember a week last year when I was with other people non stop (no exaggeration either) and by the end of the week I suddenly could not handle it anymore. I'm thinking this will be the next nonfiction book I read, thanks Nell!

Quiet: The Power of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking
By Susan Cain

When I googled the definition of “introvert,” the result was “a shy, reticent person”, while googling “extrovert” gave the definition of “an outgoing, overtly expressive person.” In actuality the difference between introverts and extroverts isn’t necessarily shy vs. outgoing. It’s a matter of how a person refuels and gains energy. Introverts recharge by being alone, while extroverts find energy from being with other people.

I read this book in high school per the recommendation of my grandmother, an extrovert. She remarked, “your family is a family of introverts,” which I would agree with. She said she wished she had read it earlier when my dad was growing up or when I was young because the book has various tips for parents of introverted children. One of which is not to call the child shy because “they’ll believe the label and experience their nervousness as a fixed trait rather than an emotion they can learn to control.” Also, kids can pick up on the negative connotation of the word, and then are embarrassed because they realize they’re doing something “wrong” and are then being called out on it in front of another person (in the instance you and your mom run into someone at the store, and when your mom introduces you she says, “Don’t be shy.”) Now, I actually was really shy when I was little, say up until age 5. However, my grandmother used to do that to me and said she wished she hadn’t because it only made me more embarrassed. I think Quiet can help extroverts understand introvert tendencies a little better.

I liked the book because I found it interesting and relatable. I’m an introvert. That’s not to say I find all human interaction to be draining. We all have those people who, after interacting with them, we leave feeling tired, and those who we leave feeling energized. But I do recharge by being alone.
The author argues that today’s society values people who are entertaining, charming, charismatic (none of which are bad) but at the cost of undervaluing the more thoughtful, reserved types who have a lot to bring to the table. “Introversion- along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness- is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology. Introverts living in the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man's world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we've turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.” Do any of y’all see some truth in this? For people who are introverted, extroverts who want to better understand their introverted counterparts, people who love personality types and tests (Dorothy) this book is worth the read.

“At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over working in teams. It is to introverts—Rosa Parks, Chopin, Dr. Seuss, Steve Wozniak—that we owe many of the great contributions to society.

In Quiet, Susan Cain argues that we dramatically undervalue introverts and shows how much we lose in doing so. She charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal throughout the twentieth century and explores how deeply it has come to permeate our culture. She also introduces us to successful introverts—from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Passionately argued, superbly researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how they see themselves.”

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